Sunday, March 11, 2007
Me & Mike
Where do I begin?
When, after 3 dates, he wanted to kiss me goodnight and I laughed and said "I'm not attracted to you."
Or when he wanted to move in with me, and I said "Get your own place for 3 months and then we'll see."
Or when he wanted to marry me in England on our first trip there in April 2000, and I told him "Not yet, I want to wait 6 months from the day we were engaged."
I had all kinds of rules and hoops for Mike to jump through, and well, he considered and then jumped right thru 'em.
That is how he lived his life with me, full of gusto, full of trust and full of love. Everyone he met could feel it, and everyone he met was affected by him. Everyone misses him deeply. I miss him constantly.
The thoughts that come to mind these past days are filled with a sadness that we won't grow old together. But in the midst of that are thoughts of the happiness and the love between us since we went from friendship to lovers to newlyweds to celebrating 7 years of married life together. I realize what we were together, I will cherish forever.
Mike was a true Renaissance man. His early education was in Seminary school. He attended Law School, but got his Masters in Philosophy. I would tell others he was part priest, part lawyer and part philosopher...and that was not exaggerating his being at all! He was logical, he was calming and he was a true friend.
We had our love of our cats to bond us too. We met while showing our cats...he his Turkish Van and me, my Cornish Rex. He was kind to all animals, and would even carry a wasp outside whilst I was searching for the bug spray.
Our trips to England were memorable, too. I being of British heritage, Mike being drawn to the history and legends, we combined our interests and made each trip filled with cats, pubs, castles and even a visit to the Witches Museum in Boscastle. Each visit made us fall in love all over again.
This man was my husband. This man was friend to many. There will be no closure to the loss we who are left behind will feel. But let us all takes those emotions and those feelings, and make something good come from it.
Mark Twain said "The fear of death follows the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." It seems that Mike figured that out a long time ago and we could learn, through him, a great deal about living and dying gracefully.
I so envy our cats. They just work with whatever hand life deals them. They don't worry about tomorrow and they don't regret yesterday. They just take things in stride and figure things out as they go, because they put one foot in front of the other and go on.
Sometimes that is what it takes--putting one foot in front of the other, until it gets easier.