Sunday, March 11, 2007

Me & Mike

Where do I begin?

When, after 3 dates, he wanted to kiss me goodnight and I laughed and said "I'm not attracted to you."

Or when he wanted to move in with me, and I said "Get your own place for 3 months and then we'll see."

Or when he wanted to marry me in England on our first trip there in April 2000, and I told him "Not yet, I want to wait 6 months from the day we were engaged."

I had all kinds of rules and hoops for Mike to jump through, and well, he considered and then jumped right thru 'em.

That is how he lived his life with me, full of gusto, full of trust and full of love. Everyone he met could feel it, and everyone he met was affected by him. Everyone misses him deeply. I miss him constantly.

The thoughts that come to mind these past days are filled with a sadness that we won't grow old together. But in the midst of that are thoughts of the happiness and the love between us since we went from friendship to lovers to newlyweds to celebrating 7 years of married life together. I realize what we were together, I will cherish forever.

Mike was a true Renaissance man. His early education was in Seminary school. He attended Law School, but got his Masters in Philosophy. I would tell others he was part priest, part lawyer and part philosopher...and that was not exaggerating his being at all! He was logical, he was calming and he was a true friend.

We had our love of our cats to bond us too. We met while showing our cats...he his Turkish Van and me, my Cornish Rex. He was kind to all animals, and would even carry a wasp outside whilst I was searching for the bug spray.

Our trips to England were memorable, too. I being of British heritage, Mike being drawn to the history and legends, we combined our interests and made each trip filled with cats, pubs, castles and even a visit to the Witches Museum in Boscastle. Each visit made us fall in love all over again.

This man was my husband. This man was friend to many. There will be no closure to the loss we who are left behind will feel. But let us all takes those emotions and those feelings, and make something good come from it.

Mark Twain said "The fear of death follows the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." It seems that Mike figured that out a long time ago and we could learn, through him, a great deal about living and dying gracefully.

I so envy our cats. They just work with whatever hand life deals them. They don't worry about tomorrow and they don't regret yesterday. They just take things in stride and figure things out as they go, because they put one foot in front of the other and go on.

Sometimes that is what it takes--putting one foot in front of the other, until it gets easier.


  1. I love sarcastic people. I didn't even know him and reading these things have made me miss him.

  2. You can come by and visit anytime.
    we love making people happy.
    Looking briefly at your blog here, you have been through a rough year, learning to live this new life with out Mike. WE know that pain too. Mom loast her big sister to a brain aneurysm. Very hard to go on.

    That is why we have a Happy Place. It is a place where everything is good.


  3. heeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
    very interesting to read. one might not know time passing by as such.very well done,great so good for words!
    may god bless you both:D

  4. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm 6 years and four months out now, and remarried.
    Sending lots of *hugs* your way.

  5. What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man...and you are a wonderful woman for doing it. I am happy for the wonderful memories you have of your lover, friend, husband...and sad for your loss.
    Wishing you well...healing...a smooth grieving time...Hugs.

  6. Ohh dear, how very precious...
    how lovely and moving this is...
    thanks for sharing your heart and soul with us.

  7. I was investigating the blogs of people, er, fellow slugs, who graciously decided to follow mine to see where they might take me today. I ended up here, where I see so much love it has moved me to moisture. I am thinking a nice warm thought for you and your love today.
    Love, Mrs. Slug

  8. Terry I just am reading this now.
    It's been two plus years for you...but not too late to offer my condolences for your loss of what sounds like a truly wonderful human being, your Mike. I am sorry.
    I am glad you had your years together...they sounded mostly grand.

  9. I too am just reading this now and I would have loved to have known him personally as I would love to know you as well.

    Blessings and hugs.

  10. Hi,
    came here through another blog,cardamom addict...Never in my life i thought of a life without a hubby i love so much...feeling sorry for people who lost their loved ones....Even though i dono u and mike, I feel for you, deeply...
    May your life gets easier as it goes.

  11. What a beautiful post on your husband. I am sorry you lost him. So sweet you made this tribute for him.
    I also just read your "About me" and you write in a beautiful way!
    So sweet of you to come by and visit me after you have read about losing my kitty......
    I will go and visit your other blog as well.
    I hope you are OK after these 3 years, but somehow I know you are.

    And yes cats are inspiring! They certainly teach me how to enjoy life more.

    Rex cats are very special and they have such gentle characters.

    Be well dear!

  12. This story makes me cry :(
    Maybe we can help each other !!!!!

    Hugs Anya

  13. Teri, I just stumbled onto this today while clicking to your profile to get to your kitty blog. What you've written and shared has moved me to tears. I can tell through your words that you and your sweetheart had that special something that not just everyone is blessed with. You've helped me to appreciate the love that I have in my own life...thank you for that. My heart goes out to you.
    xo Glogirly

  14. Teri - this is just so beautiful. Thank you for sharing... I now feel a strong need to appreciate those that I love all the more....

  15. Such a beautiful tribute to a truly lovely love story. I'm deeply sorry for your loss.